Fear

In younger days….I operated with little fear and a lot of arrogance. The older I have gotten the more fear has been a part of my life and has even at times been debilitating. I used to rider my motorcycle with restless abandon. I didn’t worry about making a living. I could jump from a cliff at a rock quarry into the water (I’m scared of heights but I did it). But now “fear” is more of an unwelcome guest camping out in the living room. Perhaps some might call this intrusion wisdom. We all learn the possible consequences of life and how foolish decisions and even good decisions can jump up and bite you.

Fear never ruled me until…let’s just say it grabbed hold of me. Fear is about fear of failure. Fear is being paralyzed to inaction. Fear is not being afraid of the dark as much as it creates the darkness that disables us from seeing our way. A horror flick is not fear, but only a place where we let the demon “fear” come out and crush our confidence, diminish our good, and push us to ignore the challenges. We become benign.

At a friend’s house a couple of years ago, Barbie and I watched the movie “Facing the Giants.” The theme song of that movie was “the Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns. Something clicked inside me that night. I went out and bought the CD by Casting Crowns and I still play it on a regular basis. My slogan became “I will not live in fear”. That’s how Barbie and I ended up in Greenville. We were safe where we were, but not where we needed to be. I jumped into my business after getting my Series 65 license. I jumped in with both feet and my wallet. I would like to say I have defeated fear, but even now I fear that I won’t make it. But God has always been faithful to provide. Below are the words to the song “The Voice of Truth”. The words are talking about Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water toward Jesus and David and his sling and 5 rocks against a 9 foot giant.

Oh what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Unto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus lives
And He’s holding hold his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, “Oh, you’ll never win.”
“you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “this is for my glory.”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

OH, what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in the armor
Wishing they’d had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, “Oh you’ll never win!”
“you’ll never win!”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story….

you get the idea. I started not to post this because it is so “personal.” But I don’t think I’m the only one. I will not be ruled by fear… and I will living trusting God.