Today is my 56th birthday. It is also the 5th anniversary of one of the top 5 life changing events of my life. I lost my job...fired...from a church. My brother had just died and it added major insult to a traumatic personal injury.
My friend Jere says that "everyone should get fired at least once in life and preferably twice". Lots of lessons to be learned I suppose. I remember the embarrassment. I suffered the lost of my identity. For men so much of our identity is tied up with what we do for a living. I was lost. I no longer walked into the room as the "preacher", I was just Stan--car salesmen, Dillards employee...then financial planner for Seniors.
Some have called this event the day I gained my freedom--freedom in thinking, free weekends, freedom from expectations, free evenings...etc. But with freedom has come loss. Loss of an instant community. Loss of financial stability, having to create a new career! Loss of what was, by in large, a good life.
Regrets? A few, but I don't regret the friends I still have in Indiana.
Mistakes, certainly! I got to the point where I didn't like my job in Indiana for reasons that need not be stated here. My favorite movie at that time was "Office Space--Work Sucks". So I can honestly now say that I'm glad they "dun me in".
I cannot talk about the week following the "firing" without choking up because of all the unbelievable ways that God took care of us. Bill and Donna were there willing to sit with us; Garry and Jenny were unbelievable; Angie Dunn left a very kind message on the machine; gifts from the Mcfadzeans, the Blevins, and Ron and Malvery; and a Sunday afternoon visit from Gary,Susan, Bob and Carol and their unending support; a miraculous call from Dan Lawson; and Toby on the golf course tending to his parents on this day 5 years ago; and then Saturday came and a surprise call from friends from Greenville who were at a conference at Southeast--Jeff and Cindy and Danny and Suzy--you just can't imagine what it meant to us! You all make me want to be the kind of person who reached out to people in pain.
I'm sorry that my kids had to go through this. Haley suffered the most. Each of them suffered with me. Their view of the church has been jaded but they have to remember that Woodruff Road never treated us that way. Life sometimes is messy, even when we're nice people.
Forgiveness was a long process. I now can actually wish the leadership of that church well. I never thought I would be able to do that. After 5 years I hold no animosity toward anyone.
Thanks to my supportive family, wife and friends! Happy Birthday!
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2 comments:
Dad, It's encouraging to read about the ways in which you have grown since May 12, 2004. The huge step is when you can say, "I'm actually glad that happened".
I'm still not glad and definitely don't wish anyone on the opposing team well, but I'll get to that point too, maybe in another five years... :) It helps to know that you're there.
Please know that we, your children, are your biggest fans. We always have been and always will be. (Even though my brain seems to be uncapable of fully understanding what exactly you do in your business now :)
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, Stan! Where did the years go?
As I read this post I am reminded of Colossians 1:24 which says, "I now rejoice in my sufferings for you..."
A pastor will always be a lightning rod for every complaint in the church. If the crowd mocked Christ, they will mock any leader. The love and support of your family and friends is the true body of Christ.
I enjoyed reading about the growth and forgiveness you have achieved. Thanks for sharing your story and your encouraging words.
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